Love is the most painful emotional. I know what it is suppose to be, but it's never been that. It's never been this fairytale life that I been able to enjoy. Love has always treated me wrong. Slaps me in the face and reminds me that I'm not as important, pretty, sexy or worthy, as I tend to think I am. Right now, as I type this, the man that I've practically ruined my life for is probably laying next to a woman who he swears he's no longer seeing, not giving a damn about what he's doing to my trust. For a year and a half, I've done everything for this man. Tried to be every thing I could be to make him see and believe in the love I have, and want him to share. It amazes me what all woman (or people in general) are willing to put up with, just to be able to "say" they are in a relationship. Even if they know they are really NOT, because they may be seeing someone on a regular basis; having sex with them and believing this means anything to the other person. I feel like I'm repeating a very horrible life experience for the second time in my life. It's all starting out to be the same, and the irony is that both men last name is "Gibson." Gibson #2 lied about a woman in his life, which turned out to be more than 1. Has been caught red handed with this woman; takes pictures with other woman and sleeps with multiple women. He rebuttal is ... "if you don't want to fuck with me, don't" How do you stop yourself from believing? How do you tell your heart it got it wrong, and to wrap it up so we can move on? Where are the directions for walking away from someone because you know they are horrible for you? How can a person be so heartless they can look in your face and tell you lie after lie? Even when they've seen you cry; watched your pain; seen you struggle with every fear, emotion and doubt.' What the fuck am I going to do about this shit?